


What Nobody Knows

by Darkrai_Scyther



Category: Monty Python RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Self-Harm, Swearing, Withdrawal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-06-02
Packaged: 2018-06-03 07:06:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 16
Words: 14,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6601495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkrai_Scyther/pseuds/Darkrai_Scyther
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Terry Gilliam gets beaten up and the others have to figure out why he's acting so strangely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Attack

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Riven_Charlatan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Riven_Charlatan/gifts).



Gilliam glanced down at his watch and it was later than he'd intended to start home. It was 11:30 pm and very dark. He'd been working on an art project and lost track of time. The night was cool and very dark, not that he was afraid of the dark or anything, because he wasn't- much. And it wasn't that big a deal, just way later than he'd meant it to be. He closed the door to the workshop and walked down the alley towards the street. Unfortunately three very big and slightly drunk guys rounded the corner just as he got to the main street.

"You know what time it is?" one of the men slurred.

"Uh- yeah. It's 11:33." Terry looked back down at his watch.

"Oy- I know you. You were at Cleese's party the other day..." another of the men suddenly chimed in.

"Yeah he was!" The third man agreed.

"Uh, yeah... John's my friend." Terry nodded. He suddenly had an uneasy feeling creeping up the back of his neck. Something told him it was time to leave.

"You're that annoying American."

Terry blinked a few times nervously and willed his legs to move. He attempted to excuse himself but the first man who had spoken threw his arm out and roughly flat handed Terry's chest stopping any forward momentum.

"You know we weren't amused by you." the 2nd guy spat out.

"And neither was your so called friend, John. He said he's getting tired of you ruining everything with your stupidness. And he's tired of having to apologize for you." the 3rd guy grinned.

"I- I'm s-sorry" Terry swallowed hard. He was less than thrilled at this confrontation. 

"You should be! Why are you even here dirtying up our nice country with all that American?"

"I- I work here. I l-live here." Terry stammered.

"Well excuse me- maybe we aren't okay with that? Maybe we don't want you here. Maybe those guys you live with don't either. Maybe they're just too polite to kick you out on your sorry arse." The 1st guy growled.

"Face it you're just an embarrassment waiting to happen, you little Yankee twat."

Terry was visibly upset at their words. He had often wondered if the guys he lived and worked with really liked him or not.

Seeing that they'd hit the right nerve they continued, "Cleese said he's fed up with you and the next thing you do that sets him off, he's going to clobber you good. So you'd better watch your step."

"O-okay, c-can I please g-go now?" Terry stuttered, feeling his legs start to tremble.

"No, we don't think you've quite gotten the message yet... we don't like you. John doesn't like you. Nobody likes you. John's our mate, we're going to make you understand that you need to leave him alone."

"I- i do understand. P-please just..." Terry shivered as he started to back away. He turned to run but there was nowhere to go except back into the alley where he couldn't run from. They caught up to him and one of them grabbed him by his arms pinning him against his chest. Terry looked up into his face and what he saw was enough to make him go weak in the knees. They were going to enjoy hurting him. 

The first man who'd spoken came up behind them. It was dark in the alley and they were almost the whole way back. Terry trembled.

"Aww poor little baby he's shaking like a leaf." the man holding him laughed. 

"Please? Please let me go!" Terry begged.

The man who was holding him so tightly shoved his knee between Terry's legs, forcing them apart. Terry was confused by this until the man behind them got even closer and sunk his knee into the back of Terry's balls. Gilliam cried out in severe pain and the force of the blow pushed his body forward so that he jammed his groin into the other man's knee. Terry screamed as they both pushed against him, grinding as they went.

Tears spilled out of his eyes as he whimpered, but then the overwhelmingly horrifically intense pain overtook him and he vomited all over the guy in front of him. The man threw him violently to his knees. Terry hung his head, sobbing in pain, he had never been hurt like this before. He whimpered again at the throbbing aching pain in his most sensitive areas. The third man dragged Gilliam to his feet and punched him in the cheek. The blow burned and stung as well as hurt and Terry reached up to feel blood dripping from his now bruised and torn cheekbone area. The man must have had a ring on or a shard of glass in his hand that gashed his face on impact. They threw the artist up against the wall of the studio. One of the men picked up a discarded piece of lumber and slammed it across Terry's torso. Gilliam felt and heard something inside crack, followed by intense pain from his rib cage area.

Unable to hold himself up, he started to slide down the wall when the man he'd puked on grabbed him by his long hair and kneed him in his crotch again. Terry screamed and almost threw up on him a second time.

"That'll teach you to vomit on me!"

Terry was then thrown to the ground and kicked several more times. He instinctively covered his head as blows managed to land everywhere else on his body.

Then one of them bent down and grabbed him roughly by the arm, pulling him to his feet and almost but not quite dislocating his shoulder. Then he punched Terry in his face, splitting open his lip and the artist could taste the foul bitterness of his own blood.

"If you know what's good for you, little man, you'll catch the next plane back across the pond."

"Once you can walk again." The other man snickered as the 3rd one laughed.

The man who still had hold of him, reached down between Terry's legs and punched him hard. "Have fun trying to piss, Yank." Then he tossed the smaller man to the hard ground as they walked off laughing.

Terry whimpered, still crying and trembling as he watched them leave. He just lay there a minute or two, sobbing, aching, feeling totally terrified and alone. He didn't feel safe anymore. He didn't feel anything. He crawled to the stairs and pulled himself to his feet slowly and painfully. He pulled himself up the stairs and fumbled for the key in his pocket, his hand shaking violently and his body fighting the urge to throw up again. He spat out the pool of blood congealing in his mouth as he gagged on it. He let himself back into the building.


	2. Dispair

Once inside Terry collapsed, still crying into his chair. He felt cold, numb, distant. "John doesn't like me? The others don't like me?" his mind focused on that. Despite all his effort to fit in with his friends he knew he'd always be different. What he hadn't realized was that he was such a burden to them that they had to apologize for his behavior. He felt utterly destroyed, devastated and defeated. The blood dripping from his mouth and cheek was staining his white T-shirt a dark red. This jogged a dark part of the artist's brain, a part he thought he had left behind in America. The feelings of inadequacy, doubt, and emptiness all came flooding back to him. He had been doing so well so far over here. New country, clean slate, new chances to make first impressions, but... deep down he realized it was of no use. He was like an alien who crash landed on this planet and almost knows the customs but never gets anything quite right. He had never told any of his new friends that he suffered from depression. He'd been working very hard to overcome it without treatment. But his relapse right now was too strong for him to conquer.

He was bleeding already and in so much pain, what did it matter? he grabbed his x-acto knife from his desk. He rolled up his sleeve to his shoulder. He dragged the razor sharp metal across his upper arm. A familiar sting brought him solace. The blood running down his arm fascinated him and he turned his arm one way then the other to watch the droplets change direction and cross his arm. He hated himself right now and wanted to control the pain he felt inside so he cut again. Two crimson trails mingled now. He sobbed harder as he cut himself the third time, wanting- needing to feel some release. His arm ached. His stomach ached. His head ached. His ribs ached. His groin ached. But most of all his heart ached.

After a while he gently blotted his face, lips and arm with a paper towel and was not even shocked by the amount of blood he came up with. The pain was overcoming him and he curled up on the floor on his side that didn't feel like he'd broken anything and he fell into a troubled sleep, exhausted and weak.


	3. Discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone finds Terry in his disheveled state

The next morning Terry felt fuzzy headed and groggy as he was awakened by someone tapping on his shoulder and calling his name.

"Hey Terry? Terry?" He couldn't place the voice right away, his brain needed time to wake up. But he still had an overwhelming sense of fear that caused him to recoil and gasp at the resulting pain the sudden movement caused him.

"Terry? Oh my gosh what happened?"

Gilliam opened his eyes to find Michael squatting next to him. Michael put a comforting arm around his shoulders. 

"What the hell happened?" John suddenly demanded from the doorway.

Terry flinched at the hostility in John's voice. Michael caught him to stop him from injuring himself again.

"Look, easy John, Terry's hurt." Michael scolded.

John bounded around the desk and his eyes bugged out when he caught sight of the artist's condition. Dried blood caked one side of his face, his long hair matted with it, there was a swelling and bruising of his face, his shirt was covered with dried blood stains as well. "Shit- bloody fucking hell-" John cursed.

Terry attempted to stand but found he couldn't manage it. As soon as he shifted a burning pain swept through his rib cage and his groin. He winced and bit his already swollen and gashed lip to avoid whimpering. He inhaled sharply. Michael tried to comfort him by patting his arm, the one he'd cut. Terry yelped this time and pulled away. He felt dizzy and nauseated. 

"Terry... would you be a dear and please explain to us exactly why half your face is covered in blood?" John asked as politely as he could manage.

"He needs to get to hospital, he can explain later!" Michael interrupted.

"N-no! No hostipal- hosti- hos-pit-al." Terry slurred through his swollen lip. Gilliam cringed at the thought because he knew they'd try to lock him up if they had a good look at his arm.

"But..." Mike protested.

"I thaid- no!" Terry attempted to say.

"Listen you- this isn't a bloody request. It's not a mere suggestion. We're taking you to the fucking hospital!" John snapped.

Terry found himself shaking with fear at John's anger. 

"John, I think you may be making things worse." Michael suggested. "Why don't you let me talk to him?"

"Worse? He looks like he was hit by a car." John scoffed. He started towards them. "Right- up you go."

Gilliam couldn't stop himself, he grabbed hold of Michael in terror. "I- i'm thorry. Pleath don't be croth at me, John." Terry quivered as he pleaded.

"Hush now, John's not mad. We're trying to help you." Michael soothed. "Go away, John!"

John was dumbfounded by the authority in Palin's usually soft voice and he complied. "I'll meet you in the car then."

"There now-Terry- it's okay. Can you tell me what happened?" Michael said gently again.

The confused and frightened artist let go of Mike's shirt, still shaking slightly. "Got jumped. By guyths- that John knowths."

"Okay, can we please take you..."

"Noooo! No Hosthstipals!" Terry freaked out.

"All right, no hospitals yet. But I can see you're in pain." Mike reached out his hand to touch the non bloodied side of his friend's face. Gilliam recoiled. Michael withdrew his hand. "I wasn't going to hit you! Come on now, I'm Michael Palin, nicest man in England." he tried to joke.

Terry tried to smile but it hurt too much, " 'm thorry." he slurred.

Mike reached out again much more slowly this time and gently stroked the side of Terry's face. "C'mon,love, if not hospital- what about Graham? He could look you over."

" 'm not thure thatth's a good idea." Terry mumbled.

"Graham won't hurt you either. He was really very concerned when we realized you hadn't come home last night." Mike persuaded.

"He wath?"

"We all were."

"Are you thure you don't all thecretly dithpithe me?" Terry worried.

"What? Why would you even think that? How could anyone do that?" Michael hugged him gently.

"Thorry. Been a rough night." Terry breathed deeply which hurt his ribs even more. He winced.

Michael gently lifted his shirt to look. There was a very dark bruise across the left half of his torso. "That is not good." Mike gasped. "Please let Gray take a look at it? i think something might be broken in there."

Terry had to agree it hurt terribly and it was hard for him to even breathe right anymore. The act of standing up made his head spin. He suddenly threw up again. Michael kept hold of him to stop him from falling back over again. "Thorry."

"Stop apologizing!" Michael scolded him. "You've nothing to apologize for."

"Yeth I do. A bunch of thit. You guyth put up with tho mucth from me. You have to make up exuthes for my thtupid, thillyneth."

"Um, perhaps you should save your strength and talk later?" Michael didn't quite understand all of what the American was saying. "Just lean on me and I'll get you to the car."

They walked slowly to John's car. Every step hurt Terry more and more. "Oh thit, I have to pith..." Terry suddenly burst into tears.

John rolled down his window, "Please don't vomit in my car."


	4. Uneasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Persuasion to go to hospital ensues

After they'd gotten to the car there was a silence the like of which John had never heard from Gilliam. Terry for his part still had his face flushed with the embarrassment of not having been able to stop himself from screaming as he relieved himself. The pain inside his abdomen was excruciating. He was worried that there was some blood when he went but he didn't want to mention that, knowing they'd drive him straight to the hospital.

John kept looking in the rear-view mirror to make sure he was okay as Michael held the quiet artist's hand and gently stroked his head. They respected his silence but both knew there was something seriously wrong when the usually bubbly Gilliam was so quiet you could hear your own breathing. When they pulled up to the house John jumped out, barely parking the car at all.Obviously the seriousness of Terry's injuries had finally dawned on him as he scooped the smaller man up in his arms as soon as he exited the car.

"What the?" Terry gasped as he shook with fear. His heartbeat increased and he tried to breathe more rapidly but that only made his chest and ribs hurt worse.

"Better than climbing all those stairs isn't it?" John replied in a very gentle un-John-like tone.

Gilliam looked up and saw the worried expression on Cleese's face. But he seemed to care? He looked genuinely concerned. Terry was confused. John carried him all the way to the American's own room and gently placed him on his bed. Michael instantly ran to fetch Graham.

"I- I hope you feel better soon." John propped a pillow up behind Terry.

"J- John?" Terry began, wondering how to even bring up the subject of his friends.

"Yes?"

"N-nothing." Gilliam chickened out after hearing his attacker's voice in his head warning him not to piss off John. Tattling on his friends would certainly piss him off.

John looked at him, "What is it?"

"Never mind." Terry mumbled.

John leaned down to hear him better and Terry suddenly cowered, not sure why he was suddenly getting closer. "Are- are you- afraid of me?" Cleese spluttered, the shock clear on his face.

Terry did not reply and averted his eyes from John's gaze. In fact he closed his eyes entirely, afraid that the tears welling up would escape. He couldn't cry in front of John, he just couldn't. John already had such a low opinion of him. Terry couldn't explain how he felt except that he realized he was being a burden to everyone right now. They couldn't get on with their day because he was ruining it. He was starting to believe he'd deserved to be beaten for all the inconvenience he'd caused them all this time.

Graham and the others all arrived at the same time. It was still early and Graham hadn't been drinking yet. The doctor turned comedian gasped when he saw Terry's condition. "John, Eric, could you go fetch some warm water, soap and towels please?" Graham instructed.

"He's not having a baby!" Eric joked.

Ordinarily Gilliam would have giggled at that but he was in too much pain emotionally and physically to even register it.

Jones went over to the bed and took Gilliam's hand, "Hey, are you okay?"

"Does he LOOK okay?" Michael snapped.

Gilliam nodded slowly "I'm fine." he said, still not daring to open his eyes.

"What happened?" Jones asked.

"He got beat up." Michael answered.

"I can see that! By who?"

"Well..." Michael hesitated. "I'm not sure."

" 'm fine really. Don't all have to worry." Gilliam managed to say, his voice was raw both with emotion and from the strain of all the screaming and crying he'd done.

"Would you mind-if you could just both clear off- just until I'm done examining him?" Graham requested. 

"Bloody doctors..." Jones teased as he walked to the door.

"Gray,- fix him up." Mike said as they left the room.

Graham walked towards the bed. Terry could somehow feel his eyes on him. "You are NOT as you say, okay." Graham observed.

"I'm fine." Terry insisted.

"Michael told me about your bruises. And about other things. I can see your face. You're not fine."

"D-don't trouble yourthelf." Gilliam choked back a sob.

"You've been through an emotional experience, if you need to cry, then cry." Graham soothed. "But stop pretending you're fine."

Terry opened his eyes and the teardrops fell like rain. A sob finally escaped his lips.

"May I look at your injuries?"

Terry replied, "Only if you want to."

Graham was puzzled by the cold response. It was almost as if the artist thought it was an inconvenience for Graham to be helping him at all. He pulled the bloodstained T-shirt up and winced at the extent of the bruising. "That is most certainly broken. You're going to have to go to hospital."

Terry grabbed Graham's arm, "Noooo." he protested.

"You need more care than I can manage."

John and Eric returned with the requested items. "Well, how is he?" Eric inquired.

"Broken." Graham answered.

Terry inwardly scoffed at the irony of Graham's assessment- broken-in so many ways...

"We'll go wait with the others." John pulled Eric by the arm as Idle was staring in horror at the bruise around Terry's ribs.

"I'm going to clean your facial wounds." Graham announced, being careful to tell Terry what was going on so as not to frighten him.

"I can do it." Terry replied softly.

Graham dipped the cloth in the soapy water and rung it out. He moved towards Terry's face. Gilliam tried so very hard not to flinch but he didn't succeed. "Easy."

Terry looked up into Gray's cool blue eyes and saw the concern in his usually calm gaze. 

"Somebody really did you a good injury here." Graham pondered as he began to scrub away the dried blood from Terry's cheek.

Gilliam whimpered as the roughness of the cloth burned at his still raw flesh.

"I'm afraid I've started it bleeding again. You'll need stitches."

Terry shivered. He didn't want to go to the hospital at all and now he had to. Tears cascaded like a waterfall and one found its way into the now reopened wound and the salt stung.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Graham asked gently.

"I'm thorry that I'm thutch a git!" Terry sniffled.

Graham couldn't place the look on his friend's face it was halfway between sorrow and guilt. "You're not a git. You got beat up. We want to help you." Graham hated the pain he saw on the American's face.

"Don't try to make excuthes! I know I'm a nuithanthe." Terry choked.

Graham dabbed the cloth at Terry's swollen lip. "You are not!" he was at a loss as to how to help. He slid onto the bed next to Terry and took his hand.

Terry's face flushed at the touch. He had a terrible crush on Graham and was nervous at the attention. He fidgeted with Graham's fingers.

"If I were to go with you to the hospital would that help?" Gray suggested.

"I- I can't go- did thomething thtupid lasth night." Terry admitted shyly. Maybe it was because he knew they both shared a vice of release- Graham's choice was alcohol, Terry's was self-harm, but Terry felt at ease sharing this very personal detail with him.

"What did you do?" 

Terry pointed to his bloody sleeve. Graham lifted it and saw the scratches. "Oh, Terry." he breathed. "You're too beautiful a soul to be hurting yourself like that." he whispered into the artist's ear.

Terry swallowed. Graham's warm breath in his ear made him shiver and oddly his groin ache stronger. "Not beautiful." he insisted bashfully.

"I think you are," Graham kissed Terry's forehead.

Terry's head was swimming. He didn't know what to think or how to feel. "Well... you- you're too wonderful to hide in a bottle."

"Thanks." Graham smiled sadly. "Hard thing to listen to isn't it- truth."

"G- Gray, h- hold me?" Terry whispered.

Graham slid his arm around the smaller man and cuddled him. "I will, but then I'm taking you to the hospital. I have to- you're still bleeding."

Terry realized that meant he was currently getting blood on Graham's jumper. "I- I'm thorry!" he pulled back but Gray just held him closer.

"Don't be silly."

"Do I really need thitcheth?" Terry sighed.

"Yes."

"That'll thcar." he moaned.

"You'll look distinguished." Graham chuckled.

"I'll look even uglier." Terry sulked, realizing too late that he'd said that aloud.

"You're not ugly." Gray reassured him.

"I'm funny looking and I know it." Terry shot back.

"I don't think so. I think you are adorable especially when you smile and I'm a poof so ..."

Terry finally cracked a smile, it hurt like hell but it felt good to feel some emotion other than fear or pain.

"Come on, off to hospital now, enough stalling."

"I can go mythelf." Terry insisted.

"I'm going with you." Graham asserted.

"But you have more important thtuff to do..."

"Nothing is so important that I can't say bugger it and help my dear friend." Graham smiled.

The sacrifice wasn't lost on Gilliam, if Gray was going to wait at the hospital for him then he wouldn't be able to drink all day. Terry was really confused now as to how the others really felt about him.


	5. Hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> at the hospital...

Graham sat in the waiting room fidgeting with the pipe he wasn't allowed to smoke inside. He found himself to be very upset that someone would dare to hurt the free spirited animator. There was a part of Terry that seemed missing now, maybe his sense of innocent wonder, perhaps the attack had frightened him so much that he couldn't grasp reality the same way at the moment. Graham hoped the effect was only temporary, he quite enjoyed Gilliam's playful, effervescent attitude. Seeing the American so subdued made Graham's heart ache. He was grateful when the others finally showed up.

"Well?" John demanded.

"They- they've taken him for exam, could be a while." Graham replied.

"Did he say what happened?" Eric inquired.

Graham shook his head. "He only kept apologizing when I asked."

"Well- when I first found him, mind you, he was groggy and a bit confused- but he did say something." Michael volunteered slowly.

"What did he say?" Jones prodded.

"When I asked who beat him up he said, 'guys that know John.' Not much help is it." Michael shrugged.

Simultaneously all eyes turned to John. He looked very uncomfortable. "I- I don't know anything about it!" John reacted.

"Well it is the only lead we have." Eric pointed out.

"Look, I didn't tell anyone to beat Gilliam up!" John clarified.

"Nobody said you did... guilty conscience?" Jones snapped.

"Of course not! But that's how you're all looking at me!" John defended.

"Just thought maybe you know- you could ask around a bit?" Mike suggested. "Although come to think of it, Terry was terribly frightened of you this morning."

John was extremely hurt and angered by the accusation, especially coming from Michael. "Just what are you insinuating?" he growled.

"Nothing. It was just an observation." Michael backed off.

"You know, IF I was going to sic my friends on one of you it bloody well wouldn't have been Gilliam! I have far more history with Jones!" John spat out in anger.

"Could've been a case of mistaken identity, we are BOTH named Terry!" Jones pointed out.

"Fuck off!" John growled.

"Well you do get cross with Gilliam a lot too." Eric interjected.

"Et Tu, Eric?" John sneered.

"Well you do!" Eric answered.

"John gets cross at everyone though." Michael interrupted.

"Oh, thanks for THAT help." John rolled his eyes.

"None of this is helping." Graham suddenly said, "And we ARE in a h-hospital." he tried to ignore the stutter and the jittery feeling creeping up on him. He shut his eyes as the others continued arguing more quietly around him. He flashed back to the look on Gilliam's face when he'd asked to be held. He had looked so vulnerable, so afraid. Graham had desperately wanted to help him. He hadn't been lying just to make the man feel better, he really did find Gilliam adorable, inexplicably so. But he also knew that Gilliam was most likely straight and so he didn't try to start anything with him. But still the way the artist gets flustered when you asked him a question- the unique way in which he sees the world so whimsically, the way he giggles, the way he's so small and cute... Graham sighed as he imagined what it might be like to have Gilliam as a boyfriend. To be the cause of that adorable blush that creeps across his face whenever you pay just a bit too much attention to him... Graham was snapped back to reality by John's shouting.

"I will prove to you that I had nothing to do with this!" he shouted as he stormed off.

"Bloody hell." Eric sighed. "He's so volatile."

Graham nodded agreement.

"You want some coffee or tea, Gray?" Michael offered,

Graham stood up, ignoring his urge to say "It's certainly NOT tea I want..." Instead he replied, "Nothing else to do, why not."


	6. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graham goes to see Terry

Several hours later Graham was starting to regret promising Terry that he'd be there. He was now desperate for a drink. Everyone else had gone out for a walk or to grab something to eat and John still hadn't returned.

"Are you a friend of Mr. Gilliam?" A voice called to him.

"Y-yes! How- how is he?" Graham leaped to his feet.

"He's resting now, but you can follow me if you'd like."

"Y-yes please." Graham followed her up to Terry's room.

"He was exhausted and dehydrated." she informed him. "Go on in."

Graham entered the room quietly and the nurse vanished. Terry lay in the bed, a drip bag presumably re-hydrating him was connected to his arm. He was sleeping. Graham grabbed the medical chart from the foot of his friend's bed. He flipped through it, skimming the assessment of his injuries, "Bruising, swelling, lacerations, stitches, 2 cracked ribs, broken left ring finger-" then Graham read something that made him stop. "Testicular contusion? Hematuria? Trauma of the urethra?" Graham gasped. Just what had these monsters done to poor Terry. He dropped the chart back in the slot. He went to the bedside and looked down and his sleeping friend. The stitches on his cheek were still red and puffy. The swelling of his lip had gone down considerably. Graham couldn't help but feel for him though after having read the chart. No wonder he was so afraid. Suddenly he realized that Terry was twitching slightly. And sweating. Graham was sweating too, damn alcohol dependence.

Terry moaned slightly and thrashed. "Nooo." he muttered. "John please don't. I'm sorry!"

It became clear that Terry was having some sort of nightmare and Graham quickly grabbed his hand. "Terry-" he called but there was no response. Gilliam flinched in his sleep and Graham knew he had to wake him before he pulled the IV out. "Terry!" he tried again. Again nothing.

"Nooo, please..." Terry called out.

Graham got right up against Terry's ear, "VANCE!" he shouted.

Gilliam woke with a startled yelp. "G- Gray..." Terry gasped as he realized who was holding onto him.

"Easy now." Graham replied. "Bad dream?"

"Yeah." Terry panted, the sweat dripping into his eyes. "Graham, you stayed..."

"S-said I would." Graham smiled.

"Thank you. But you look awful." Terry replied softly.

"Could say the same for you." Graham chuckled.

"S'pose so." Terry conceded.

The others entered the room. Terry noticed the lack of John Cleese. 

"How are you, tiger?" Jones winked at him.

"Been better. How long have you lot been here?" Gilliam asked.

"All day." Eric answered.

"All day? I'm so sorry!" Terry looked genuinely distraught.

"Nah, its ok." Eric shrugged, "Nothing better to do."

"We were worried." Michael soothed.

"I'm really okay this time." Terry blushed slightly. Then he gasped as a sharp pain hit him right in the ribs.

"Are you really?" Jones chuckled.

"That- r- really hurt." Gilliam shivered.

"Take it easy, they'll probably keep you tonight at the l-least." Graham smoothed Terry's hair back down.

Terry tried to breathe rapidly to combat the pain but that seemed to make it worse. "S-sorry guys.. you- you can go home- I'll be okay." He managed to get out between stabbing pains.

Just then the disappearing nurse returned. "It's time for his pain medicine."

"And not a moment too soon!" Michael nodded.

"He's going to get drowsy once he takes this. And he may say some off the wall things." she warned.

"Nothing new there." Jones smiled. "I'm joking."

Terry took the pill and was grateful for the coolness of the water. "Really guys you can go home. Especially you, Gray- you really look like you need something." Terry nodded knowingly.

"I- I don't like to leave you just y- yet." Graham replied, fighting the urge to run for a bottle of something.

There was small talk but Terry felt himself getting farther from reality. "There's a dragon outside." he pointed to the window but no one else could see it.

"What are those pills exactly and where do I get some?" Eric joked.

"Guys, you know what? I really like pie." Gilliam said fondly.

"Right, I think it's time to go. See you tomorrow." Michael smiled.

"Don't take too many of those..." Eric warned.

"Get better." Jones instructed as the three of them left.

"Be right there, I want to make sure he's comfortable." Graham called after them.

He fluffed Terry's pillow and bent down to give him a quick kiss on the forehead. Terry grabbed his arm. "I love you, Graham." he tried to look at him but his eyes wouldn't focus.

"I- I love you too, Vance." Graham replied softly, feeling it was best to give the expected answer, and not really knowing if Terry was aware of what he'd said. "You take care now."

"Okey dokey." Terry gave him a thumbs up sign.

Graham left the room wondering what had just happened. Was that the pill talking? Or did Terry really love him? Either way he knew that he would have to be the one to help Terry when he came home and in order to be the best help possible he had to be sober. He would have to try to quit drinking one way or another.


	7. Uncertain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more hospital visits

The next day the doctors bound Terry's left arm in a sling. He was frustrated with the brace on his finger already but the sling was driving him nuts. He was trying to distract himself by doodling on a napkin but it was hard to keep it steady with his left arm constricted. He sighed and there was a knock at his door. "Come in." Terry called without looking up. He was getting used to the poking and prodding of the nurses regularly.

It was not, however, a nurse who entered it was John."Hello, Terry." he said.

Gilliam dropped the pencil he was attempting to draw with and it clattered to the floor echoing in the silence of the hospital room. The pencil rolled under the bed.

"Let me get that for you." John said helpfully as he retrieved the fallen writing implement.

"Th-thanks." Terry replied softly as he took the offered pencil.

"Why's your arm all up in that sling then?" John asked.

"Sprained m-my shoulder. It's s'posed to stop me f-from moving it too m-much." he explained.

"I see. Other than that how are you feeling?"

Terry shrugged in response. He didn't know what John's reason for coming was and he felt uneasy.

"Could you, maybe, possibly, tell me what happened?" John inquired politely.

"Not really th-that important is it?" 

"Well, it might be. You seem to have told Michael that guys who know me did this..." John prompted.

Terry panicked inside. "D-did I? I was r-really in a bunch of pain when y-you found me." he stammered nervously.

"Are you now saying that you don't know why you told him that?" John tried to be patient but the edge was creeping into his voice.

"Y-yes." Terry looked back down to his napkin doodle.

"Oh." John looked surprised by this news. "Because if it was somebody I know I'd like to have a talk with them." John added.

"It's really not important. I'm s-sorry if I c-caused you any problems J-John."

John sat down in the chair finally through with his pacing. "Why so nervous?"

"I- I'm not."

"You are."

"Don't like hospitals." Terry squeaked.

"Don't know anyone who does." John chuckled. "But you seem very jumpy... almost afraid of me?" he frowned.

"Not at all. I'm just s-sorry you had to c-come all the way out here just to ask m-me about something I d-don't remember."

"Well that's not the only reason I'm here. I did want to visit you, you know?" John seemed puzzled by Gilliam's weirder than usual behavior.

"That's awfully n-nice of you. I'm doing okay."

"Are you really?"

"Yes. The surgery went well yesterday." Terry answered before thinking because he was so out of sorts.

"You had surgery?" John gasped.

Terry nodded and smacked himself in the head with his good arm.

"For what?"

"Uh- stuff. You know- inside stuff... internal stuff!" Terry searched for the term.

"Nobody told me that!" John huffed.

"I- I'm sorry." Terry swallowed.

"Not your fault. I meant everyone else!" John snapped.

"I- I didn't tell them that part. No one else knew." Terry explained. "No point in making you all worry, right?"

"We do like to know what's going on... look, if you do happen to remember who hurt you, you will tell me? Because if I do know them i have a few choice words for them."

"I swear it's not a big deal, I'm sorry." Terry apologized again.

"It isn't your fault and stop apologizing!"

"I'm s--- uh--okay." Terry stopped himself. John sounded so annoyed though.

"When do you get out?" John remarked.

"Not sure. They have stuff to do yet."

"Do you need anything? Water? Book? Dirty magazine?" John winked.

"No thank you."

"Well then, you get better, that is not a request it is an order." John said as he stood up.

"Yes, sir." the artist saluted. John gave him one last imploring look and when it was clear Terry was not going to divulge the needed information John waved goodbye and strolled out of the room.

After John left Terry broke down into silent tears. He was confused as hell as to how John really felt.

A while later Graham entered the room. He came over and sat down immediately. "The sling is new." he remarked.

"Yeah." Terry answered weakly. He wondered if Gray could tell he'd been crying or not. "You didn't have to come."

"I wanted to. I know how hospitals can be. Intimidating places." Graham smiled reassuringly.

Terry noted there was something different about Graham. He was neat and tidy, he didn't smell of gin and tobacco, and he seemed more alert and aware of his surroundings. "How are you today, Gray?"

"Fine, shouldn't I be asking you that?" he chuckled.

"I'm- okay." Terry hesitated.

"How are you really?" Graham asked knowingly.

"I- I don't know. Scared." Gilliam admitted.

Gray patted his hand gently. "It'll be all right."

"Did you- by any chance- look at my med chart?" Terry frowned.

"I may have, yes... peeked a little, rather a lot really." Graham answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Well the nurse said someone put it back the wrong way round, so i kind of guessed..."

"Ah, sorry."

"No. It's fine. just- well- you know then." Terry fidgeted with the pencil.

Gray reached out and took his hand. "I do know. And I know that you had surgery. But what I want to know is what did they do to you to cause that kind of injury? There wasn't any sexual assault was there?"

Terry shook his head no. "They were just really violent." 

"I'm really sorry that happened to you. I won't let you go out alone again. And I promise that when you come home, I will be there to help you. No more going out all night and day for me." Graham said, staring into Terry's eyes.

Gilliam blushed, "You don't have to do all that. I don't want to be any bother."

"No bother at all." Graham replied sincerely. Terry noticed Gray's hand shaking as he held his own.

"Have you- " Terry stopped not knowing how to phrase the question.

"Hey! I brought you a friend!" Graham suddenly changed the subject. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small soft toy hedgehog. He handed it to Gilliam.

"Nice, I'll call him Spiny Norman!" Terry laughed gently so as not to hurt his ribs.

"Love it! You're so creative." Graham grinned.

"Oy, are you a friend of our Mr. Gilliam here?" the nurse suddenly entered.

"Yes."

"Maybe YOU can talk some sense into him! He won't eat or drink nothing. He's going to dehydrate himself again."

"Vance!" Gray scolded.

The nurse took his vitals and then left.

Graham looked at the artist sternly, "Now you know that you have to do what the doctors and nurses tell you..."

"But..." Terry protested.

"I know why you don't want to drink, dear, but trust me, you'll have to go sooner or later anyway. But they can't send you home until they know you're functioning properly." Graham soothed.

"I don't really have an appetite either." Terry shrugged.

"Probably still a bit of shock. Let Dr. Chapman take care of you." Gray said.

"Dr. Chapman, do I have to drink something?" Terry shuddered.

"Yes, I'm afraid you do, Vance. But It'll be all right, I promise. I'll stay with you all day." Graham squeezed his hand.

"Pass me the cup." Gilliam sighed.


	8. Doctor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> physician heal thyself

Terry finally heard the words he was waiting to hear the next day... "We should be able to release you either late today or tomorrow morning if you continue eating and drinking as normal."

Terry breathed a sigh of relief as Graham walked in.

"But... you will have specific after care instructions for when you return home. Broken ribs and urethral surgery aren't things to play with." she scolded him.

"It's all right. I'm a doctor and I'll play with his urethra... uh I mean I'll be taking care of him when we get home, please tell us both the instructions." Graham said authoritatively as he strode over to the bed.

"You're a doctor?" the nurse looked skeptical.

"More or less." Gray chuckled. "I can read his medical chart."

"Did you read Mr. Gilliam's private information?" she scolded.

"It's okay, he doesn't mind." Graham smiled charmingly.

"Is he for real?" she looked to her patient for confirmation.

"Yep." Terry smiled back.

The nurse gave them a bunch of papers and carefully explained everything. After she left Gilliam groaned, "Ugh, this all sounds like torture."

"You'll be fine. That's why I'm there to help you through all this." Gray smiled down at him.

Terry smiled back, he felt much more at ease knowing that Graham cared so much. It eased some of his anxiety. He could feel the genuine warmth in Graham's smile and it made him slightly giddy that Gray was paying so much attention to him. He suddenly knew he wasn't alone. He did notice though when Graham excused himself a few times during the day and returned smelling slightly of alcohol. Not badly but Terry could tell he'd needed a quick fix. Still it was a vast improvement over Graham's usual drinking routine and Terry was proud of him.

"Gray, good job on slowing down on the..." he made a drinking motion with his free arm.

Graham's face flushed slightly as he fell into the bedside chair, "Oh, you noticed."

"Yeah."

"Well- I can't very well help you to stop if i can't stop myself now can I?" Graham said nervously.

"Maybe we can stop together..." Terry suggested, overwhelmed by the statement.

"Maybe we can face that unpleasant truth thing together..." Gray nodded.

"I'll face anything as long as you're there with me." Gilliam replied softly.

Graham chuckled nervously at that for some reason, "And we won't be lonely anymore if we keep each other company! One temptation down."

Terry stared at his friend for a while. "If I'm not prying- can I ask- why do you drink? You seem like you can be a really together guy when you're sober."

"Why? Ah- that's difficult. Many reasons. For one I've wasted all my medical training by becoming a comedian, and that feels like failure..." Gray sighed.

"But Graham, laughter is the best medicine." Terry answered in his simple honest way. "So you're doing a great job actually."

Graham smiled at him. "You are so cute."

Terry felt a blush creep across his face. "No, you are." he answered. "Bloody handsome."

"Also, I feel... I don't know- ashamed of who I am sometimes." Graham confided. It felt natural to talk to Terry like this for some reason. Graham could see that he genuinely wanted to help.

"You shouldn't, I think you're awesome." Gilliam grinned. "And being gay isn't anything to be ashamed of!"

"How about you? Why do you- you know- hurt yourself?" Graham asked quietly.

"Well for one I suffer from depression- sometimes i can manage it, clearly not this time."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, sometimes, when it's not as bad as it was this time, I can deal with it and it makes me see the value in things, it makes me feel differently and see different things than other people do. I can see beauty in simplicity. But sometimes, it just gets me. I am anxious a lot, that's why I fidget and bounce around so much. I'm sure you've noticed I'm more than a bit socially awkward." Terry giggled.

"No? Really?" Graham teased.

"I just feel like I'm not good enough..."

"Good enough for what?" Graham asked.

"Anything." Terry shrugged.

"That's a lie. You're amazing. Your creativity and imagination are boundless." Gray took Terry's hand.

"I feel the same about you. You are one of the smartest men I've ever met, Gray."

"I have an idea. I can't quit cold turkey- I've tried and believe you me- it gets ugly. So when we get home, I'll give you the key to my liquor cabinet and you only give it to me if it looks like I really need it. And in return I'll keep you away from sharp things and keep hold of your pain medicine so that you don't get addicted." Graham proposed.

"I would be honored that you'd trust me so much." Gilliam squeezed Graham's hand.

They sat in silence for a long time just holding hands and looking at each other in silent understanding of the other's private pain. Maybe they weren't as different as Gilliam thought they were. Secretly he was overjoyed at the prospect of spending alone time with Gray when they got home. Maybe he'd work up enough nerve to tell Graham that he wasn't alone, that he wasn't the only gay man in their group, but that wasn't something Terry was ready to admit at the hospital.


	9. Undercover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jonesy and Michael want to find out what really happened...

Jones cleared his throat before he spoke, knowing he was about to rattle the tiger's cage, "So, John- any word on who might have hurt our Gilliam?"

John glared back at him. Clenching his jaw tightly he replied, "I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer."

"Well- we know it was somebody you are familiar with..." Terry prodded. "I just thought that maybe you had, you know, asked around?"

"Look, you! Gilliam told me he wasn't sure who beat him up or why he told Michael it was my friends! So just lay off already!" John sulked.

"And you believed him?" Jones scoffed. "So you haven't asked anybody then."

"I bloody asked bloody Terry! And he bloody wouldn't say anything! He's so frustrating!" John screamed back.

"Did it occur to you that maybe Terry doesn't want to piss you off?" Jones snapped back. "You're vicious when you're angry."

"If it turns out that it was anyone that I know I will tell them off, but there's nothing I can do without proof!"

"I'll get you your bloody proof!" Jones asserted. "I'll go do your job for you and ask around."

"Don't you dare!"

"Try and stop me! Unlike YOU- I CARE about Gilliam!" Jones growled.

"I never said I didn't!" John defended.

"You haven't really said that you do either!" Terry challenged.

"Boys- stop this." Eric said as he stepped into the room.

John pointed to Jonesy. "Tell him to stop it, he's being ridiculous!"

"I'm being ridiculous?" Jones squeaked incredulously.

"See he even admits it." John smirked.

Terry felt his blood boiling. "You bastard..."

"Guys- come on." Michael entered the room.

"Watch out, they've gone mad." Eric warned.

"Of course I'm fucking mad! You all seem to think that I had something to do with this!" John pointed out. "I can't just go poncing about accusing people I know of assault!"

"No but I can!" Jones offered.

John looked as if he wanted to strangle the Welshman.

"Look, John, tell you what..." Michael interrupted the tense atmosphere, "Jonesy and I will take a walk down to the pub and give a listen to what people are saying, okay? We won't start anything."

"Now that's more like it, if there's anyone capable of NOT starting anything it's you, Mike." John looked very relieved.

"Is that meant to be a compliment or an insult?" Eric asked.

"With John they're one and the same." Terry shot back.

Michael grabbed his friend by the arm and ushered him into the next room before John could retaliate. Eric followed them intrigued at their plan. 

"So just how are you going to carry out this investigation?" he asked.

"Well, people like to boast about their idiocy, especially when they're drunk so I thought we'd eavesdrop on some conversations down at the pub." Michael explained.

"But won't they recognize you?"

"Not if we're in disguise. This could be fun." Jones laughed.

Michael dressed as inconspicuously as possible and then applied a fake mustache. "Are you sure this is absolutely necessary?"

"You don't want to be recognized do you?" Eric laughed at the ridiculous pair. Jones had on a long overcoat and a hat pulled way down over his face. "You look like bleedin' detectives!"

"Come on, Watson." Jones tapped Palin's shoulder.

"Why do you get to be Holmes?" Palin sulked.

"Because I'm infinitely weirder."

"True." Mike conceded.

They made their way down to John's favorite pub. They managed to hear a lot of things they wished that they hadn't. They were just about to give up when they heard something from the group of men drinking at the table behind them.

"We beat that Yank pretty good!" They all laughed.

Terry grabbed Michael's arm.

"Shhh." Mike warned. "We want to hear the rest."

"Serves him right for making a pass at John in public, fuckin' queer."

"I hope John appreciates what we did for him!"

Terry tried to get up, anger showing in his eyes, but Palin stopped him. "Wait."

"You know what my favorite part was? The look of absolute heartbreak on his ugly little face when we told him that his so called friends didn't even like him!"

"My favorite part was when he started begging us to stop."

"I think it's just great we got read of another American fairy..."

That did it, Michael was seething inside. How dare they talk about his friend like that. How dare they slander and make fun of Gilliam. Palin stood up.

"Mike?" Jones called, unsure of what was happening.

Michael picked up his drink and promptly poured it over the guy closest to him. "He is not 'another American fairy!' He's a human being- unlike you lot!"

Picking up his jaw from the floor, Jones had just enough reaction time to grab Mike by the arm and drag him away and to the safety of the outdoors. "Michael bloody Palin what the hell got into you?"

"They just got to me, Terry. He's not an object to be abused! He's our friend and they really hurt him. I don't just mean physically. He's afraid of me- me? Seriously?" Michael's voice shook with emotion.

"I know, I know, we've got a lot of convincing to do to make sure Gilliam knows how we really feel." Terry soothed his best friend.

"Let's get home and confront John before I lose this nerve I seem to have found." Michael joked.

 

When they entered the house John pounced on them, "Jones how could you?"

"How could I what?" Terry asked.

"One of my friends just called and told me that one of my Python lot dumped a drink on him! I asked you NOT to start anything!" John yelled.

"I did that!" Michael boldly took the blame.

"Y- You... you?" John was taken aback.

"Yes, me!"

"Why?"

"Because they were bragging about hurting my friend! They were calling him vile names. Because I had enough of it!" Michael replied angrily.

"I... I..." John stammered.

"There's nothing you can say, John. They said they did it for you!" Terry added with a smirk. "Still want to claim you had nothing to do with this?"

John stared at them wide eyed. "I did NOT tell anyone to hurt Gilliam!"

"Well, why don't you just call your little wet friend back and ask him what happened then!" Michael yelled.

No one was used to Michael Palin raising his voice or being furious. John seemed to be recoiling from the viciousness of Mike's tone. He turned and ran from the room and they heard the front door slam shut. Eric and Graham came in.

"What was all the shouting?" Eric asked.

"We found out what happened." Jones began. "It seems that at John's birthday party Gilliam may have made a pass at John in front of the guys who beat him up. So they decided to teach him a lesson to keep him away from John."

"And they- they told Terry that none of us really like him at all." Michael added, his anger subsiding after Cleese had left the room.

Graham tried to suppress the feeling of jealousy that Vance had hit on John. "I've j-just come to get him some clothes to come home from hospital in. They're releasing him tonight. Eric and I are on the w-way over to collect him."

"Be kind to him." Michael implored. "He was really in a state when we found him." 

"I know." Gray nodded.

"Come on, Michael, let's go get some tea and calm you down." Terry suggested. It was a very odd feeling because it was usually the other way around.

 

Once Eric had hopped into the driver's seat, he looked over at Graham, "Do you think John meant for Terry to get hurt?"

"Do you?" Graham questioned.

"Well John can be a jerk but I don't think he's that big of one." Eric concluded.

"I think it's all one big misunderstanding." Gray replied as he sipped some of the gin he had allotted himself for the day.

"Still if Terry hit on him in public... how does John feel about that?" Eric mused.

Another pang of jealousy. Graham took another drink. "John is fine with other people being gay, now... that took some time, but woe be to he who suggests that John himself might be in denial." 

"OH, hmmm... methinks he doth protest too much." Eric winked.

"Exactly." Graham agreed as he lit his pipe.


	10. Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things...

Eric led Gilliam into the living room where the artist sat down in the comfy chair. He needed a rest before climbing stairs.

"How are you feeling?" Michael asked from across the room.

"Okay." Terry shrugged.

"It's good to have you back!" Jones smiled at him cheerfully.

Gilliam returned the smile. It made him feel a little better.

"Yeah, we were really worried about you." Palin said as he nonchalantly strolled slowly towards the American.

"Thanks." Terry nodded.

"Like really, really worried." Michael added as he gently sat down on the arm of Gilliam's chair.

"Super worried." Eric agreed.

Terry blushed slightly and looked up at Michael. The concern in his bright brown eyes was obvious. "I didn't mean to worry you." Gilliam suddenly reflected Mike's concern right back at him.

"I didn't say that to upset you! I just wanted you to know that we care." Michael smiled as he gently put an arm around Terry's shoulder and pulled him closer to hug him.

Gilliam rested his head against Michael's side. Mike was visibly relieved that Terry was no longer scared of him and he gently rubbed the artist's shoulder.

"I wanted to thank you Michael for being so good to me when you found me." Terry said softly.

"You don't have to thank me! I'm your friend."

Just then John came back and sunk into a chair in the opposite corner. He looked around and didn't say a word, he seemed upset. Eric suddenly walked over to him and to everyone's horror and surprise he climbed into John's lap. 

"What the hell?" John stared at him.

"Too public?" Eric purred.

"Get off."

"This is an intervention, Sweetie, we think you might be unable to admit you're really gay." Eric explained.

"Eric- bloody hell!" Graham exclaimed.

"You're a loony!" John snarled as he attempted to stand up in order to dump Eric on his ass. However, Eric anticipated this and threw his arms around John's neck, throwing Cleese off balance and forcing him to sit back down. "Let go of me!"

"I'd rather kiss you, squire." Eric winked at him.

No one dared to speak. John's icy gaze met Eric's big blue eyes and he realized Eric might not just be being a prat after all. He might actually mean it. John's brain couldn't handle this right now and he lashed out verbally as always, "Look, Eric 'flirts with anything that breathes' Idle I wouldn't kiss you if we were the last two people on this bloody planet and you'd had a sex change!"

"Don't be like that." Eric brushed off the comment. He leaned in and gave John no choice whatsoever. He brushed his soft lips against those of the older man.

No one had seen this coming. They exchanged nervous glances. Eric finished the kiss and they all waited for John to punch him. John didn't. John stared at him silently. 

After a full minute of nothing, Jones got testy. "Now how come you didn't react or tell any one to beat Eric up when he hit on you?" 

"What?" John answered, still partially in shock over Eric's brazen act.

"When Gilliam hit on you you told your friends who then beat him up!" Jones accused.

Gilliam looked hurt, upset, and terrified. "I- I've never hit on John!" He stammered as he stood up and went to the staircase leading to their bedrooms.

"I- I've got to go with him, but I want to know how this ends!" Graham instructed as he turned to follow the again upset artist.

"For the last time... that is NOT what happened!" John yelled so loudly that Eric, still on his lap, flinched at the sheer volume.

 

Graham easily caught up with Terry who had to take it slow on the stairs. "Easy, you'll hurt yourself."

"I never hit on John."

"Of course you didn't. Why would a straight man hit on another man?" Graham replied, trying to understand why Terry was so upset at the accusation.

"I'm not straight!" Terry answered.

"Oh- you..." Graham stopped talking.

"But I didn't hit on him."

Graham invited Terry into his own room. "Please, s-stay with me, my bed is big enough for t-two and I will know if you need anything in the middle of the night."

"Do you believe me?" Terry asked, his eyes wide and imploring.

"Of course I do."

"Then why would John tell his friends that I did and make them beat me up? Doesn't John like me? What have I ever done to him?" Terry suddenly started to cry again.

"You haven't d-done anything to John and I'm not sure what happened but I don't think John m-meant for you to get h-hurt." Graham soothed as he helped Terry sit down on the bed.

 

"Well, what really happened then..." Jones demanded.

"The other night, at my birthday party, I was talking with those fellas, and Terry was being goofy all over the place and they said he was embarrassing and I told them that he's just American and sometimes that meant he overstepped the boundaries of proper interaction with others. Then I lamented I was turning another year older and Terry came over and said something silly and completely innocent like, 'don't worry John, you're still just as handsome as you were last year.' A typical Gilliam thing to say. They took it as him hitting on me. They found him childish and annoying and thought he was gay. When I confronted them their defense was 'we were only doing you a favor and getting that stupid little poofter to leave you alone. we thought you'd be happy.' I let them know that I was in no way happy with their choice!" John explained.

"I'm sorry, John." Michael said sincerely. "I've just been so upset over how awful Terry was feeling."

"I'm sorry that they misunderstood." John sighed. "I'll have to try to fix things with Gilliam."

"But first you have address the fact that I'm still here." Eric waved from his lap.

"There are many ways I could address that." John growled.

"You're no fun." Eric pouted as he got up.

"Can we address it in a more private setting?" John inquired.

"Your place or mine?" Eric winked.

"Mine, five minutes." John instructed as he left the room.

"You've got balls, mate." Michael said to Eric after John left.

"I didn't expect you to have a head left after you kissed him!" Jones agreed.

"I think I might have hit a nerve or two in the right places." Eric grinned.

"He was right though, you ARE a loony!" Michael laughed.


	11. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John comes to a realization...

John sat down on his bed then he stood up again. How dare Eric embarrass him like that! How dare he stare at him with those soft blue eyes and how dare he have the audacity to kiss him in front of everyone! But... and this was the part that John didn't want to admit, he had enjoyed it. He had no idea what he would say to Eric when he walked in. He had no idea how he felt now. All he knew was how Eric's kiss had made him feel.

There was no knock, Eric just entered and shut the door, "All right, you can yell at me now." Eric looked sadly at the floor.

"I should bloody well yell!" John started.

Eric sighed. "I suppose you want me to apologize?"

"I want to know what the hell you were thinking!" 

"I was thinking that I have a crush on you and maybe if the right person showed you that being gay was okay you might learn to accept yourself." Eric replied.

"I know being gay is okay. I don't bother Gray do I?"

"Being gay is okay for YOU too." Eric insisted.

"I'm not." John said but without his usual conviction.

"Suit yourself, but you and I both know you liked it."

"Why do you say that?" John looked insulted.

"Because I'm still standing." Eric laughed. "If you hadn't liked it you'd have punched me out by now."

"I can't hit you, you're too pretty." John said without filtering himself for once.

"Ooh, pretty am I?" Eric teased.

"You know you are. You flaunt it." John pointed out.

Eric chuckled. "Do you know why you always see me flirting?"

"No. Is it because you're an awful flirt?"

"No. It's because I mean for you to see it. I want you to get jealous." Eric came over and reached out his hand to touch John's chest.

"I don't get jealous." John told him.

"Pity." Eric sighed again. "You'd be even more attractive then."

"We can't like each other, what would the others say?" John interrupted.

"I should think they'd appreciate you in a happier mood. And why would you think they'd care?"

"Because... It would be... weird."

"Not really. Just a bit different. I'll bet you a fiver that if you and I were to go out there and say we are now a couple, that Terry and Michael would applaud."

John grabbed Eric by the shirt collar and pulled him close. "You don't know what you're getting into, I'm a right bastard."

"I know you well enough, mate." Eric laughed.

John pushed his lips against Eric's and kissed him hard. Eric caressed John's chest.

John tangled his long fingers in Idle's hair. Wordlessly they found their way to the bed and Eric suddenly pushed John backwards onto the mattress and flopped on top of him. John traced Eric's jawline with his finger. "You bloody bastard, Idle... I've fallen for you."

"Good." Eric grinned as he kissed down John's neck.

 

"I don't hear any screaming so I guess Eric is okay." Jones pondered from outside the door to John's room.

"Guess so." Michael shrugged.


	12. Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title says it all...

Graham could hardly take it anymore. He was shaking and sweating and his insides felt like knots. He'd tried this before, quitting completely but the horrible side effects had gotten the better of him. He'd just finished throwing up for the third time as he sat, very undignified, at the base of the toilet. He didn't want to give in, he really wanted to beat it this time, for not only his sake but also for Gilliam. Then Graham uncharacteristically began crying. He usually kept all his emotions bottled up inside, the proper British response to emotions if you asked Cleese. Nobody had ever seen him crying.

"Hey, everything okay in here?" Michael called from the doorway.

"F-fine." Graham called back.

"Mind if I don't believe you?" Mike asked as he entered.

Graham quickly wiped his face on his sleeve.

"Can I help?" Palin asked sweetly.

"N-not really unless you want thrown up on."

"Are you ill?"

"Not exactly. Trying to- to q- quit drinking. Not as easy as it sounds."

"Doesn't sound easy at all." Michael reassured his friend.

"So bloody miserable." 

Michael sat on the floor next to him, "It'll be all right." he sympathized. "You're making a valiant effort, but you know, nobody can just quit overnight."

Graham sighed deeply. "But I want to."

"Be realistic, why don't you have a little to take the edge off these cramps and stuff?" Mike suggested.

"B-because I locked it all up... Vance has the key. I- I can't give up and d-disappoint him." Gray was shaking as much as his voice was.

Michael gave him a hug, "I think Terry will understand and forgive you."

"But I won't forgive myself."

"You mustn't be so hard on yourself. Rome wasn't built in a day and addiction can't be cured in one night." Michael soothed as he rubbed Chapman's back.

Graham winced at the word addiction. "You don't understand. If I relapse s-so will he."

"Relapse into what?" Mike was puzzled.

"Oh shit, shouldn't have... ignore me." Graham stammered.

"Really I think that Terry will understand. Anyone can see how you're feeling. He cares about you, we all do!"

That did it and the tear finally spilled out over Gray's red-rimmed eye. Michael pulled him close and embraced him as Graham sobbed onto his shoulder.

"It's okay Gray." he soothed.

 

John had woken in the night and after smiling at the sleeping Eric in his bed, he'd gotten up to go get a glass of water. He was walking down the hallway when he noticed Graham's bedroom door ajar. He popped his head in but didn't see Gray, only Terry sleeping. 

He was about to leave when the figure on the bed thrashed suddenly and called out, "Noooooo!" clearly Gilliam was dreaming.

John took a step into the room. He saw, illuminated by the moonlight spilling in from the window, Terry curl himself into a protective ball.

"No, please, John- don't." he whimpered in his sleep.

John went to the edge of the bed and could clearly see Terry shaking. He sat down on the edge and firmly grasped the artist's shoulder. "Terry." he called as he shook him lightly.

"J-John I'm so sorry..." Terry's now panicked voice cried out, somehow registering that John had spoken.

John tried again, "Terry, wake up!"

Gilliam responded by screaming in John's face as his eyes shot open and he sat up. When he realized he was still staring at John he screamed again. John grabbed the smaller man around his waist, "Easy now, it was all a nightmare."

Terry was still shaking and his breathing was ragged, "J- John?" he squeaked out through his panting.

"Stop shaking," John begged. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"I'm sorry I'm so easily excitable and goofy that I embarrass you and you have to make excuses for me to your friends." Terry babbled as he cowered away from Cleese.

John didn't let him go very far before pulling him back. "Terry, I still don't know fully what's going on."

"Y- your friends..."

"Ex-friends." John interrupted, hoping that might help.

"They- they told me how you really feel..."

"That you're my friend and I'm very worried about you right now?" John explained.

"N-no. that all I do is piss you off and you want to beat me up!" Terry was now shaking so hard that John's teeth were rattling. 

John wrapped his strong arms around the vulnerable American. "I would NEVER physically hurt you." John said in a soft tone.

Terry heard the sincerity in his voice. "Then you- you d-don't hate me?"

"Of course not!"

Gilliam's shaking slowed somewhat, "And- and y- you had nothing to do with them... hurting me?"

"Not a thing. That was all their idea. I've told them off. They aren't my friends anymore. I never told anyone that you hit on me either, because you didn't." John explained.

Once he had calmed down, Terry came to the realization that John was actually holding him. "You- you're hugging me?"

"Yes, that should tell you how much I care."

"It does, John you never hug people. I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"That things have been so messed up lately, that I've been so scared, that the others have been mean to you over it..."

"Hush, not your fault. I just want us to be okay. I don't like that you are afraid of me. And I really don't like that I'm causing you nightmares in which I'm obviously hurting you."

"It's because they told me that I shouldn't piss you off again because you'd had enough of me. After what they did, I'm sorry... I was so scared. I've never felt pain like that before, it was terrible... I'm sorry John." He leaned against the older man's shoulder and his eyed filled up with tears.

"Please stop being sorry, none of this is your fault." John said gently as he cupped Terry's chin in his hand and tilted his face up so they could look eye to eye. "OH no, don't start crying... I don't know how to deal with that..."

"Too late." Terry sniffled.

John held the sensitive artist against his chest. He felt his shirt become damp. He awkwardly stroked Gilliam's long hair.

"I thought- they said that- you all... hated me." Terry sobbed.

"I am sorry that those idiots made you feel so awful. We don't hate you." John assured him. 

Just then Michael brought Graham back in. "John?" Graham inquired as to why he was in bed with and holding Terry so intimately.

"He had a bad dream. You're welcome to have him back." John said hopefully.

He stood up and Graham sat on the edge of the bed and took Terry's hand.

"Come on, John, let's leave them alone. Gray- you'd better tell him." Michael called back as they left.

"Tell me what?" 

"That I need..." Graham faltered.

"A drink?" Terry handed over the key that he had around his neck. "Truth be told I kind of need a painkiller. That sort of did me in, I tensed all my muscles."

They looked each other over carefully and decided they both needed some leeway on this process of healing. They both looked worn out and it was clear that both had been crying.

"Graham, I trust you completely. I know you wouldn't have asked if you didn't really need it. All I ask is that you stay with me after I take that pill, it makes me feel weird and think funny."

"Oddly those are the exact reasons why I LIKE alcohol." Graham chuckled sadly. He went to the cabinet, unlocked the door, fetched out a small bottle and locked it again. He handed the key back to Terry. He got a glass of water and a pill and handed them to Gilliam.

Terry took the pill and Graham sipped on his gin. All was quiet until Terry suddenly said, "What if I find a guy I want to be with and then I can't be intimate because I'm afraid to be touched because of what those guys did to me?"

Graham realized that the pill had loosened Terry's inhibitions and he was voicing a real concern. "You'll just have to choose an understanding partner." he advised.

"Like you?" Terry giggled.

Graham smiled at him. "Would you try saying these things when you're NOT high as a kite sometime?"


	13. Relapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things are more difficult than expected...

Graham had been trying very hard not to drink at all after that night but the DT was catching up on him. Several times Terry had tried to give him the key and each time he refused. He now found himself panicking at the smallest things, unable to think clearly and shaking so badly that he couldn't even hold his pipe. It was all he could do to walk from room to room. He was feeling exceedingly light headed as he entered his room this afternoon. 

"Graham? Are you okay?" Terry was worried by his demeanor, swaying and sluggish.

"Y- n..." Graham couldn't even formulate an answer.

As he swayed even farther, Gilliam jumped up and ran over to him. Chapman was now shaking so badly that he could barely stand. Terry reached out to steady him.

"V-Vance..." Graham choked out. Then his eyes went wide and rolled back as he collapsed into Terry's arms. 

Terry did his best to catch the much taller man and lower him to the floor. It hurt like hell but he managed not to fall over. He panicked, trying to make sure that he was still breathing. "HELP!" he screamed.

Jones came running in. "What is it... oh my God!"

"He just passed out!" Terry freaked out.

"Eric!" Jones called, "I saw you out there, call an ambulance!"

Eric stuck his head in to look at the situation, "Bloody hell!" Then he ran off to make the call.

"He's been trying too hard... pushing himself..." Terry collapsed to his knees and took Gray's hand.

"Are you okay?" Jones patted Gilliam on the back.

"Not really. Jonesy... I... I'm in love with Gray."

Jones dropped to his knees too and held Gilliam tightly, "It will be okay. He'll be fine."

"He has to be- I haven't told him yet... how I feel..." Gilliam whispered.

"I'm sure he knows how you feel. I think he loves you too." Jones soothed.

Michael entered, "Can I help?"

"Not much we can do for Graham, he's still breathing, but Terry's not doing too well." Jones offered.

"Oh, hey, it's perfectly normal for people in withdrawal to pass out. It's just a stage they pass through sometimes." Michael tried to be helpful.

"He hasn't accepted a drink in two days. I offered..." Terry said guiltily. "He's just been trying really hard this time... because... because of-me." Gilliam realized. Graham was in this state because of him. He felt guilty and sick.

Mike took Gray's pulse, the extent of medical knowledge he had.

When the ambulance showed up they made Terry let go of Graham's hand. Gilliam slipped quietly away from the concerned others who were intently watching as the medics looked over their patient.

The artist ran to the bathroom, crying and blaming himself for Graham's condition. If he hadn't been so weak then Gray wouldn't have tried to be so strong. He felt horrid as he stared at himself in the mirror. "Why do you always manage to fuck things up?" he accused his reflection. "Why didn't you force him to take a drink? Or beg him to at least?" He felt a wave of numbness sweep over him and he took off his shirt. He ran his hand over the not yet fully healed scars he'd created so recently. "How could you let Graham down?" he scolded himself.

 

Michael finally realized that Gilliam wasn't beside them anymore and he got a sinking feeling when he remembered Graham's words that Terry might 'relapse.' He had no idea what that might even mean only that it was probably bad. He grabbed Jones by the arm, "Come on we need to go find Terry. Let Eric and John deal with this. Graham told me that Gilliam has some kind of problem that he might relapse into if he's upset enough. I have no idea what we're going to be dealing with."

They searched the whole place until the only room left was the bathroom and sure enough the door was locked.

"Terry? Are you in there?" Palin knocked.

"They've nearly got Graham loaded into the ambulance. Do you want a lift to hospital?" Jones offered.

"Go away!" Terry's exasperated voice shouted back.

"We only want to help" Michael reassured him through the door. "Please let us in."

"NO!"

"Are you okay in there?" Jones asked.

"NO!"

Look, whatever it is- whatever you're doing in there... we want to help you. Give us a chance?" Michael pleaded.

"This is all my fault..." They felt Terry thud against the other side of the door. "I mean that Graham is trying so hard. He's trying to show me that he can beat this so I can be strong enough to fight my demons too." They could tell he was crying.

"Then don't you think you owe it to him to try just as hard then?" Jones pointed out.

"Yeah, whatever it is that you're doing in there, is it something that Gray would want for you?" Michael prompted.

"No." Gilliam answered after some hesitation as he thought it over. He knew they were right.

"So..." Jones insisted.

Terry unlocked the door and stepped back. He handed the razor blade he'd been holding to Michael and then collapsed against Jones who threw his arms around him.

They were both shocked to see the blood dripping from his upper arm. "Let's just bandage that up before we go to hospital." Michael suggested.

Terry marveled that they weren't horrified and running away from him. Jones cleaned the wounds and Palin bandaged them.

"We're heading out now..." John said as he stuck his head in. "What the hell?"

"Terry's just had a bit of a problem, that's all, we'll be right behind you." Michael replied cheerfully, not wanting to make Gilliam feel self conscious.

John shook his head. "All right then."

After he left Gilliam smiled gratefully at his friends. "Thank you for not thinking I'm a freak."

"OH but you are a freak, we all are." Jones laughed as he ruffled Gilliam's hair.

"And neither of us will leave your side until Graham gets home." Michael asserted. "You're not alone, we're all your friends, and whatever those idiots who beat you up said to you- that was all lies."

Terry nodded gratefully as he slipped his shirt back on. They got into Jonesy's car and set off after the ambulance.


	14. Kindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graham has to stay at the hospital

Terry was still worried and anxious as they got into the car. "He'll be okay right?"

Michael and Jones nodded, trying to console him. "They'll probably have to keep him here a while to fix him up and detox though." Mike explained.

Terry sighed.

When they got to the hospital John and Eric were already inside. "Nice of you all to show up." John muttered. He stared at Gilliam. "Weren't you keeping an eye on Gray?"

Terry swallowed back the tears that caused.

"Graham's not the easiest person to look after! He's stubborn." Michael pointed out, coming to Gilliam's defense.

"Look John, I'll have none of your attitude directed at Terry... he's not the only one in the house and aren't YOU supposed to be Graham's best friend?" Jones snapped.

"Oh for the love of... could we just once be at hospital and NOT try to kill each other?" Eric sighed. "I mean really."

John glared at him. Jones laughed. "Aren't you supposed to be on my side now?" John growled at him.

"Not when you're being a stupid git."

John sulked and grabbed a magazine to pretend to read. Jones put an arm around Gilliam while Michael held the artist's hand.

They sat a while in silence until Michael excused himself to the loo. John followed him. "Hey- what really happened to Terry's arm?"

Michael looked at him, "Are you concerned or just curious?"

"Both..."

"I swear to you, I may be kind but if you use this in any way against him I will never speak to you again..." Michael was deadly serious.

"All right."

"Terry has a problem in that he cuts himself when he can't handle things. It's sort of awful isn't it?"

John nodded silently. "I had no idea."

"No one did. Well Graham did. But things have escalated quickly for Terry recently and he's having a hard time. So please be nice to him." Michael pleaded.

"I will." John promised. He left Palin and returned to the others. He sat down next to Eric this time. "I'm sure Graham will be fine, the doctors know what to do."

Eventually someone came to talk to them. They decided it was best for Graham to stay at the hospital to recover and to reduce the risk of more serious problems resulting from his withdrawal. Gilliam asked to see him but they said he was asleep and maybe in a few days he'd be ready for visitors.

As they left John noticed how upset Gilliam was as the animator wiped his eyes on his sleeve. John uncharacteristically slid an arm around the smaller man. "He really will be okay."

Terry began to sob into John's chest. "But i feel like it's all my fault. I didn't do enough..."

"You did all you could, and you are still hurting too." John replied. "He'll be okay. We have to make sure you will be."

Terry looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you." He hugged Cleese very tightly. He knew now that those men who had hurt him had been wrong, that John did care about him. He knew they all did.

When they got home, Michael and Jones offered to share a bed with Gilliam so he wasn't alone. He gladly took them up on the offer.


	15. Premonition?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a dream and a visit

That night Terry had a vivid dream:

He was lying in bed with Graham after he'd come home and he wanted to tell him how he felt. "Gray- there's something I've been wanting to tell you..."

"Mmm hmm..." Graham replied.

"I..." he began but then John burst into the room and started shouting.

"He's about to tell you that he has a crush on you, of course that's ridiculous because he's not at all the sort of man you're looking for, Gray!"

"Is that true? Do you have a crush on me?" Graham asked.

Terry nodded.

Graham chuckled, "Sorry old boy, John's right, you're much too American and weird for me."

"Told you so..." John scoffed.

Then they both began laughing. "You thought I liked you just because I was being nice to you?" Graham giggled. "That's precious."

"Isn't it? " John agreed. "Such a naive little man."

The two men walked out of the room laughing at him. Of course John was right, how had he ever hoped to even half think that Graham would like someone like him?

Terry groaned in his sleep and woke himself to his own silent sobbing.

Michael, beside him felt him move and stirred too, "Everything okay?"

Terry buried his face in his pillow. "Mmhmm." came his muffled response.

Jones woke up and threw his arms around Gilliam. "Come on- what's wrong?"

"Are you still worried about Graham?" Michael guessed.

"Had a dream, that's all." Gilliam mumbled.

"About what?" Jones patted his back.

"Can I ask you something?" Terry sat up so they could see he'd been crying. "Have you ever loved somebody so much it hurt? Or so much that you were afraid to even tell them how much because they might not feel the same way back?"

"Graham does love you." Jones stared at the animator. "He really does."

"He wouldn't be trying so hard if he didn't." Michael pointed out.

"Don't be afraid to tell him." Jones smiled. "It will be all right."

"There's no reason at all for him not to like you back." Michael added.

"There are plenty of reasons..." Gilliam sulked.

"Name them." Jones challenged.

"I can't make sentences that make sense. I'm childish. I'm moody. I'm stubborn. I'm crazy. I'm annoying..."

"You are not annoying! And those other things are just lovable quirks." Mike soothed.

"Besides, Gray likes crazy!" Jones laughed. 

They both held him until he fell asleep again. 

The following week they were finally allowed to go see Graham because he had made great progress. Michael and Jonesy took Gilliam by the hand and dragged him from the car to the hospital entrance.

"Get in..." Jones instructed. 

"But..."

"No buts."

Terry sighed and entered the building. He clutched the get well picture he'd drawn for Graham tightly to his chest. They found out where Gray's room was and sent Terry in first.

Graham was sitting up in his bed, reading the paper. Terry knocked gently and entered. "Hi."

"Hello, Vance!" Graham said brightly.

Terry handed him the picture.

Graham smiled at it. "Very nice, as usual. You've so much talent."

"Oh um... Spiny Norman missed you..." Terry handed the stuffed hedgehog to him. "He's the official Python hospital mascot now."

"Hopefully nobody else will be in hospital for a while..." Graham chuckled.

"Yeah." Terry smiled. "How do you feel?"

"Better now that you're here. How are you?"

Terry shrugged. "Glad to see you."

"I can't wait til I can leave and come home." 

"Yeah, we all miss you. Especially me." he blushed slightly.

"I've missed you too." Graham reached out and took Terry's hand.

They stared into each other's eyes for few moments and Terry felt he had the courage, "Gray, I... uh... there's something I want to tell you..."

"Yes?"

"Well I..."

Just then John came into the room, "Glad to see you looking awake and sober."

Terry sighed. Perhaps his dream had been a premonition after all.

"Well that's what I'm paying them for." Graham quipped.

"Right-o." John grinned.

The others all entered now that John had ruined the mood for Terry to speak to Graham privately.

"You'll get your chance." Jones squeezed Gilliam's shoulder.


	16. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> match made :)

The first day that Graham returned home everyone was glad that they were all together again. (Incidentally bookwormgirlLH has written a smashing fic called "Together" as well as many others, she rocks!)

That night Graham asked Gilliam if he was still going to sleep in his room.

"Well I've been sleeping in your room without you... well Mike and Jonesy and I have, you have an enormous bed." Terry replied, grinning.

"That's not the only enormous thing I have..."

Gilliam blushed. They got into their pyjamas and climbed into Graham's enormous bed. Graham smiled and sighed a happy sigh. "I feel better than I have in ages."

"That's really great!" Terry smiled.

"It's good to be home. It's good to be with you. I missed you... a lot really." Gray admitted.

"I missed you terribly."

"I missed being able to talk to you. And being able to hold you."

"I missed that too."

Graham settled back against his pillow and stretched out his long arm, inviting Terry to come closer. Gilliam snuggled up against Graham's side and Gray wrapped his arm around the animator's back. "You know, you fit really well there..." 

"Like i was made to fit?" Terry said hopefully.

"Rather what I was thinking."

"Graham. I've been thinking a bunch and I... I realized that it's time I told you that I'm gay."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Does that change anything between us?"

"Do you want it to?"

"I- uh- I'm in love with you."

Graham smiled beautifully. He leaned over and kissed Terry's forehead. "I love you too, Vance."

Terry let out the breath he'd been holding awaiting an answer. "You... you do?"

"Yes. We were made for each other, we're both weird and complex fellas." he laughed.

Terry hugged Graham tightly. "I feel like you're the only one who really understands me."

"Which is funny because I often feel misunderstood myself." Graham pulled Terry closer and kissed him deeply. It was like nothing Gilliam had ever felt. He never wanted Graham to stop. But alas, the kiss did end. 

Terry looked into Gray's stunningly blue eyes and felt a comfort that he hadn't felt in a very long time. 

"Just you wait until you've healed properly, then you're in for the loving of a lifetime." Graham playfully kissed the tip of Terry's nose.

Terry blushed, "I've never..."

"It's not too different than with a woman." Graham assured him.

"NO- I've never... at all... ever..." Gilliam blushed. "Every time I get close to someone I start thinking that I'm not right for them or they deserve better... and I run away."

"No running this time. We'll take it slow and easy. I promise you that I love you, just as you are, crazy like me."

Terry kissed Graham hard. Graham parted his lips and Terry got the hint. Soon their tongues met, caressing each other. Gray ran his hands through Terry's long hair. "Promise me you'll never cut your hair short." Graham implored.

"If you like it long then it stays long."

"I hope you like them long." Graham joked.

Terry flushed with embarrassment. 

"You are so cute when you do that."

"You're the cute one..." Gilliam insisted.

Then they snuggled close, Terry rubbed Gray's chest gently and Graham stroked Terry's hair until they both fell into a well deserved and blissful sleep.


End file.
